On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
