Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
