He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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