Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
