he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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