The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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