bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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