I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
