Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
