he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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