Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
