Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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