The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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