My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
that may or may not have been my penis.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize