You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
