pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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