Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
