Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
this just has baby written all over it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize