C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
