I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
do nipples grow back?
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