how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
