Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
