i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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