i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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