How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
