I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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