My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize