Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
