how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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