you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
