I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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