i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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