I think I just saw someone hide a body.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
