so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
