i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize