Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
