do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
