if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
