Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
