She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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