a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
