Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
