Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
