if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
