The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
