i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
im holly from the hills drunk
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
