the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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