Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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