id be glad to
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
