I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
