i barfeds in our rink
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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