Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
