How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
