Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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