You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
