I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
