Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
